Things Dads Never Say

Things you'll never hear a dad say:

• Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
• You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
• Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car-GO CRAZY.
• What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
• Your mother and I are going away for the weekend...you might want to consider throwing a party.
• Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies-you know-that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
• No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
• Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
• Father's Day? Aaahh-don't worry about that-it's no big deal.