Signs You're Really Broke

American Express calls and says:

- Leave home without it!

- Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a fine restaurant.

- You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

- You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe.

- Long distance companies no longer call you to switch.

- Your credit card companies raised the rates from 6.9% to 24.9%.

- You see your roommate as a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

- You receive care packages from Europe.

- Your bologna has no first name.

- You rob Peter...and then rob Paul.

- You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

- You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

- You give blood everyday - for the orange juice.

- McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

Consumer Credit Counseling services said:

- No.

- The neighborhood dog stopped sniffing at your pockets