Texas Church Signs

You know you are in a Texas church when:

• People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.
• The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up.
• The restrooms are outside.
• Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
• A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
• When it rains, everyone is smiling.
• Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.
• The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale".
• The pastor wears boots.
• Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
• There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
• Baptism is referred to as "branding".
• There is a special fund raiser for a new septic tank.
• Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
• High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.
• People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
• People think "rapture" is when you lift something too heavy.
• The final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"