51 Ways to Annoy Everybody
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- Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which.
- Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes.
- Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.
- Act like a hillbilly. Period.
- Improvise Italian operas.
- Gossip about someone to their face.
- Answer every question with a question.
- Repeat yourself constantly.
- Act like a member of the opposite sex.
- Repeat yourself constantly.
- Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.
- Repeat yourself constantly.
- Change what you repeat every now and then.
- Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.
- Change what you repeat every now and then.
- Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.
- Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries.
- Change what you repeat every now and then.
- One word: Caffeine.
- Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar.
- stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.
- Using non-existent words like George Bush would.
- Change what you repeat again.
- Speak in rapid Spanish.
- Pretend not to know about the rule of personal space.
- When doing number 25, pretend to have a heavy nose cold causing you to breathe heavily through your mouth. Sneeze occasionally.
- Change what you repeat again.
- You are better than everybody else. Let them know so.
- Rudely correct everybody's grammar.
- Don't proper grammar use while you are correcting them.
- Pretend to be drunk.
- Groom yourself while standing backwards (towards everybody) in an elevator.
- Change what you repeat again.
- Pretend your name is Cletus-Atkins-Wheatherby-Percival-Smith, and don't answer to anything else.
- Call everybody you know Bob or Georgia. Bob for girls, Georgia for boys.
- Fine people for stupid things, like being too popular, or having to many teeth.
- Change what you repeat again.
- For those who wish to annoy, riddles is that in which you should speak.
- Lick your lips constantly, acting as if doing so is pleasurable.
- Pretend to be high.
- Become severely narcoleptic in the middle of a conversazzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
- Change what you repeat again.
- You ARE the lord of the dance. Never forget that.
- Speak in Gaelic.
- Blink rapidly and constantly.
- Scratch yourself constantly. I am not saying where.
- Strut.
- Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.
- Start repeating what you say as soon as you say it.
- Become "The Masked Wedgie Giver."
- Have this list printed on a T-shirt and write above it "Check list for Today." Don't let anybody forget that you have it on.
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