Stupid Insults Part 8

  • Couldn't find his way through a maze even if the rats helped him.
  • Couldn't hit sand if he fell off a camel.
  • Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if he were standing inside.
  • Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
  • Couldn't think/pee his way out of a paper bag.
  • Couldn't write dialog for a porno flick.
  • CPU is always in powersave mode.
  • CPU not connected to the bus.
  • Cranial cavity filled with neutronic matter. (Really dense.)
  • Cranio-rectally inverted.
  • Cunning as a dodo bird.
  • Cursor's flashing but there's no response.
  • Dealing with him is less fun than going to the dentist.
  • Dealing with him is one angst worse than a blind date.
  • Deep as her dimples / reflection in a mirror.
  • Defective hard drive / boot sector.
  • Dense as a London fog.
  • Diarrhea of the mouth constipation of the ideas.
  • Differently clued. -- Dave Clark
  • Dock doesn't quite reach the water.
  • Does aerobics... in his head.
  • Does everything the hard way, like making love standing up in a hammock.
  • Doesn't adjust for leap years.
  • Doesn't consider his drive a slice unless it lands two fairways over.
  • Doesn't have a round in every chamber.
  • Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
  • Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash / cups in the cupboard / groceries in the same bag.
  • Doesn't have all the dots on his dice / pens in her plotter.
  • Doesn't have both oars in the water -- can't even find the damn boat.
  • Doesn't have elastic in both of his socks.
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