Santa Hates Your Kid
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- Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
- Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
- Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling.
- By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing.
- Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.
- Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the stupid list
- Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown."
- Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"
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