Orchestra Jokes

What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?
→ A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!

What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?
→ Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Seven. [Indignant nose upturning] Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?
→ They've had little use.