Vocal Jokes

How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
→ He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.

What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive lineman?
→ Stage makeup.

How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
→ Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche.

Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.
→ She was known as the deep C diva.

What is the missing link between the bass and the ape?
→ The baritone.

What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?
→ About 10 pounds.

How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?
→ When the other tenors notice.

Ever hear the one about the tenor who was so off-key that even the other tenors could tell?

How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Six. One to do it, and five to say, "It's too high for him."

What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?
→ "I didn't wake up this morning..."

- Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again.

- Person 2: Yes, but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it.

Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage?
→ Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target.

Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons?
→ I don't want the neighbours to think I'm employing corporal punishment, dear.

How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None. They can't get up that high.

How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None. Get the drummer to do it.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.