Paddy Declares War

Saddam Hussein is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says:

- Hello.

The voice at the end of the phone says:

- Hello Mr. Hussein, it's Paddy here. I'm just ringing to let you know that we've declared war on your country.

SH smiles to himself.

- Come on Paddy - he says.

- there's no point you declaring war on us, you wouldn't stand a chance.

Paddy replies:

- No, no, we've had ourselves a meeting, and we've decided to declare war on you.

So SH says:

- OK Paddy, now listen, I've got an air force of over a thousand planes, what kind of air force have you got to match that? It'd be over in no time.

So Paddy says:

- Well my lad's got himself a hot-air balloon, and my brother used to work at an airport.

Hussein laughs:

- Oh come on, you've not got a hope.

- Hold on a sec, Mr. Hussein - Paddy says.

- we'll just have a quick meeting.

So off he goes and has a quick meeting.

- Are you still there Mr. Hussein?

- Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war.

So SH says:

- Right then Paddy, well you know, as well as the air force, we've also got about a thousand tanks. How are you going to match that.

- Well - Paddy says.

- I've got an old austin, and my cousin down the road has got a tractor.

- Get real - says SH.

- that's no match at all.

So Paddy says:

- Hold on, I'll just go and have another meeting.

- Are you still there Mr. Hussein?

- Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war.

SH thinks this is just amazing:

- Well how many soldiers have you got Paddy?

- Well - says Paddy.

- there's me, my kid, me 4 cousins, and they all had sons, and there's Bill down the road.... I reckon I could get together about 30.

Laughing openly now SH replies:

- Come on Paddy, I've got 10,000 highly trained fighting men at my disposal. I think you'd better go and have another meeting.

- I will - says Paddy.

- I will.

- Are you still there Mr. Hussein?

- Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're not going to declare war on you after all.

- At last - replies SH.

- What made you change your mind?

- Well, it's those 10 thousand soldiers you see. We can't declare war on you because we've not got the facilities to keep all those prisoners!