Computer Lingo Guide

Guest

Joke

Log on - Adding a log to your wood stove
Log off - Don't add a log to your wood stove
Monitor - Keep an eye on the wood stove
Megahertz - When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morning
Floppy disk - What you get from piling too much wood into your wood stove
Ram - The hydraulic machine that makes the woodsplitter work
Drive - Getting home during most of the winter to your wood stove
Hard drive - Trying to get home during a heavy snow storm
Prompt - What you wish the mail was during the snow season
Enter - Come on in
Windows - What you must shut when the temperature hits 10 below
Screen - What is a must during black fly season
Chip - What you munch during a football games
Microchip - What's left in the bag when the normal chips are gone
Modem - What you did to your fields last July
Dot Matrix - Eino Matrix's wife
Laptop - Where the grandkids sit
Keyboard - Where you're supposed to put the keys so the wife can find them
Software - Plastic picnic utensils
Mouse - What leaves those little turds in the cupboard
Mainframe - The part of the house that holds up the roof
Port - Where the commercial fishing boats dock
Random Access Memory - When you can't remember how much you spent on the new deer rifle when wife asks about it