Touchdown in Bed

A guy comes home from the bar drunk one night around 3 in the morning. His wife is sleeping and he is trying to sneak into bed. He's laying in bed for a few minutes and cuts a fart.

His wife wakes up and asks:

- What the hell was that?

He replies:

- Touchdown, I am winning 7 nothing.

She thinks to herself:

- I'm gonna fix him.

Then she lets one loose.

He yells at her:

- What was that?

She replies:

- Touchdown, tie score.

Now he thinks:

- I'm gonna fix her.

He's laying there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he shits in bed.

The wife asks:

- Now what the hell was that?

He replied:

- Half time, switch sides.