Baseball Strike Demands

Top Baseball Player Demands
From Late Show with David Letterman; Friday, August 12, 1994

[In case anyone has od'ed on O.J. Simpson coverage or for those who might for some reason not know, the major league baseball player strike began today.]

• No team flights on Continental Airlines.
• Goodbye boring baseball hats, hello festive sombreros.
• Make it legal to cork their pants.
• Baseballs with delicious chocolate centers.
• No more reports from that old guy up at Woodstock. [In reference to the live reports tonight from Calvert]
• Two words: Streisand tickets.
• Every team has to have at least one player named "Mookie".
• Plenty of dugout Slimfast.
• Put an on-deck circle in Madonna's bed.
• More games against the Mets.