Portrait And Plea

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

A ninety-year-old man was accused of raping a twenty-year-old.
"So, did you do it?" his lawyer asked.
"Of course not," the old man replied. "But I was so flattered, I pleaded guilty."