Programmer Excuses

Comments made by Programmers when their programs don't work:

• Strange...
• I've never heard about that.
• It did work yesterday.
• Well, the program needs some fixing.
• How is this possible?
• The machine seems to be broken.
• Has the operating system been updated?
• The user has made an error again.
• There is something wrong in your test data.
• I have not touched that module!
• Yes yes, it will be ready in time.
• You must have the wrong executable.
• Oh, it's just a feature.
• I'm almost ready.
• Of course, I just have to do these small fixes.
• It will be done in no time at all.
• It's just some unlucky coincidence.
• I can't test everything!
• THIS can't do THAT.
• Didn't I fix it already?
• It's already there, but it has not been tested.
• It works, but it's not been tested.
• Somebody must have changed my code.
• There must be a virus in the application software.
• Even though it does not work, how does it feel?
• How come you didn't find it during the system testing?
• It's a setup problem.

And the Ultimate:
A smart user would never do that!