Blonde Quickies 1-20

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
→ Gifted!

How do blonde braincells die?
→ Alone.

How do you brainwash a blonde?
→ Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
→ Artificial intelligence.

How does a blonde part their hair?
→ (Action of scissoring legs apart)

Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
→ Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

What was the blond psychic's greatest achievment?
→ An IN-body experience!

When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
→ After a dye job.

Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
→ It swells at night.

Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
→ She'd just dyed her hair.
→ She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Why do blondes wear their hair up?
→ To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
→ You can park in the handicap zone.

Why is a blonde like a turtle?
→ When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
→ The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"

What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
→ Humpme Dumpme.

Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
→ She liked kids...

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
→ Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Why do blondes like lightning?
→ They think someone is taking their picture.

Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
→ It takes too long to retrain them.

Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
→ They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.