Signs Of PMS
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Guest
- She stops reading Glamour and starts reading Guns and Ammo.
- She considers chocolate a major FDA food group.
- She puts on one of those pads with "wings," then flies off the roof laughing hysterically while riding a broom.
- She's developed a new talent for spinning her head around in 360 degree circles.
- She retains more water than Lake Superior.
- She denies she's in a bad mood as she pops a clip into her semiautomatic and "chambers one."
- She buys you a new T-shirt - with a bulls-eye on the front.
- You ask her to please pass the salt at the dinner table and she says, "All I ever do is give, give, give! AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING?"
- She enrolls in the Lizzie Borden School of Charm.
- She orders 3 Big Macs, 4 large fries, a bucket of Chicken McNuggets, and then mauls the manager because they're out of Diet Coke.
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