Office Boredom Busters

Office work dull?...

None of your colleagues appreciate your humour?...

Amuse yourself. Points are awarded on a degree of difficulty basis. You can award yourself extra points for creative execution

One-Point Gags

• Run one lap around the office at top speed
• Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the bathroom at the time)
• When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew.
• Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you
• Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye"
• To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
• When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
• Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way"
• Walk sideways to the photcopier.
• While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open

Three-Point Gags

• Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
• Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get All that, I don't want to have to repeat it"
• Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice)
• Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
• Shout random numbers while someone is counting

Five-Point Gags

• At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
• Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times
• For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'
• Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two"
• After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamacian accent, as in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour
• While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
• In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damm it, all of you just shut up!"
• At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".
• In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights"
• Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
• Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now"
• Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can' talk about it"
• Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local resturant. Let him go
• Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
• Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk
• Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
• Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets