Dear Abby

Snappy answers to sappy questions:
All your puny problems solved in 10 words or less!

Dear Abby, What can I do about my little brother? He's such a pest!
→ Have you tried a flyswatter?

Dear Abby, My boss is a mean, unappreciative slave driver who constantly belittles me. What can I do?
→ Shut up and get back to work!

Dear Abby, My dad insists I clean my room! How can I get out of this?
→ Get a new dad.

Dear Abby, Why are you so lazy?
→ Dear loser, Why are you so stupid? Next question.

Dear Abby, Help! I need to lose weight! How can I stop eating all the fattening foods I love?
→ Send them to me and I'll eat them for you.