Words From Famous Women

- I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton

- I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job. - Roseanne

- My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

- He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant - Carol Leifer

- I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

- I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. - Roseanne

- I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT? - Wendy Liebman

- I think-therefore I'm single - Lizz Winstead

- Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. - Hedy Lamarr

- When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

- I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner

- Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

- Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel. - Bella Abzug

- In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

- I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

- Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

- Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katharine Hepburn

- I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night. - Marie Corelli

- If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee

- I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor