An enterprising mayor of the city of Granby, Quebec, a community south of Montreal, established a municipal zoo that has become a significant tourist attraction. It has also given rise to many unusual events.
Last September one of the star attractions, Arnold, an Indonesian ape, escaped to the dismay of the zoo director. The matter was a serious one because the members of the staff of the zoo, while expert at caring…
Starting his new job at the zoo, the eager young zoo keeper asked the Head keeper what he should do for his first task.
"Go and clean out the aquarium" he was told.
Arriving at the aquarium, he discovered that all the fish were dead. He rushed back to the head keeper and asked what he should do. "Throw them to the lions" said the head keeper, "the lions will eat anything".
Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her mother couldn't buy a kitten and parcel it up for Christmas Day, so she bought it a week before Christmas and gave it to the little girl.
'You're getting your Christmas present a week early this year,' her mother explained as she handed over the fluffy little tabby kitten.
'Is that what you want?'
For all of you with teenagers or who have had teenagers, or are a teenager, you may want to know why they really have a lot in common with cats:
An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster. The current rooster was still doing okay, but he was getting on in years, and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium and turns him loose in the barn yard. The old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. "So, they're trying to replace me", thinks…
The setting is a quiet and serene country stream weaving through the gentle hills of a grassy plain. All is quiet and still, and, lo, a small fly hovers a few inches above the quiet waters of the stream.
Beneath the water floats a small fish. The fish thinks to itself, if that fly just drops two inches, I will be able to jump out of the water and catch it.
Now, standing on the bank of the stream lurks a bear. The bear…
To go outside, and there perchance to stay Or to remain within: that is the question: Whether 'tis better for a cat to suffer The cuffs and buffets of inclement weather That Nature rains on those who roam abroad, Or take a nap upon a scrap of carpet, And so by dozing melt the solid hours That clog the clock's bright gears with sullen time And stall the dinner bell. To sit, to stare Outdoors, and by a stare to seem…
This joke involves an elephant who is walking through the jungle. And all of a sudden he falls into a pit and is stuck there. The elephant is stuck in this pit and realizes that he is going to die, so naturally he start to scream.
By chance a chicken hears the screaming of the elephant and decides to investigate. He sees the elephant stuck in the pit and shouts to the elephant: "Don't worry, I am going to save you".
In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona
Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, Presiding
Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff
vs.
Acme Company, Defendant
Opening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote:
As he was quietly watching television at home, a chap hears a sound on the roof of his house and rushes out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home he promptly calls up the local zoo authorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped. He is reassured that a gorilla recovery unit is on the way and is told to remain calm.
