Thin People Don't

By Barbara Florio Graham
From McCall's, June, 1983

I read every diet I can get my hands on. I even follow their suggestions. But eventually, inevitably, I always get fat again. Now, at last, I've found The Answer. After living for almost 14 years with a man who never gains an ounce no matter what I serve him, I've found out what it is that keeps him thin: He thinks differently.

The real difference between fat and thin people is that thin people:

• avoid eating popcorn in the movies because it gets their hands greasy
• split a large combination pizza with three friends
• think Oreo cookies are for kids
• nibble cashews one at a time
• think that doughnuts are indigestible
• read books they have to hold with both hands
• become so absorbed in a weekend project they forget to have lunch
• fill the candy dish on their desks with paper clips
• counteract the midafternoon slump with a nap instead of a cinnamon Danish
• exchange the deep-fryer they received for Christmas for a clock-radio
• lose their appetites when they're depressed
• think chocolate Easter bunnies are for kids
• save leftovers that are too skimpy to use for another meal in order to make interesting soups
• throw out stale potato chips
• will eat only Swiss or Dutch chocolate, which cannot be found except in a special store
• think it's too much trouble to stop at a special store just to buy chocolate
• don't celebrate with a hot-fudge sundae every time they lose a pound
• warm up after skiing with black coffee instead of hot chocolate and whipped cream
• try all the salads at the buffet, leaving room for only one dessert
• find iced tea more refreshing than an ice-cream soda
• get into such interesting conversations at cocktail parties that they never quite work their way over to the hors-d'oeuvre table
• have no compulsion to keep the candy dish symmetrical by reducing the jelly beans to an equal number of each color
• think that topping brownies with ice cream makes too rich a dessert
• bring four cookies into the TV room instead of a box
• think banana splits are for kids.