This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three…
This assignment was actually turned in by two English students:----------------------------------------------------------------Rebecca and Gary English 44ASMUCreative WritingProf Miller In-class Assignment for WednesdayToday we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.
The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the personsitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then writethe…
Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as "Bonkistry." He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it past him to come up with something like this. Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going…
Trial Of The Century Transcript Reveals Objectionable Methods
By Dave Barry, Sunday, March 19, 1995
TRANSCRIPT, TRIAL OF THE CENTURY, DAY 257
- BAILIFF: Hear ye, hear ye, the court is now in sess...
- DEFENSE: Objection, your honor.
- JUDGE: To what?
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the following day. So the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The angel at the gate, remembering about the new law, promptly told the man, "Before I can let…
The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed.
I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people…
AUG. 12
Moved to our new home in Ohio. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so majestic. I can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them. I love it here.
OCT. 14
Ohio is the most beautiful place on Earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful, certainly they are the most wonderful animal on Earth…
Dec. 8
5:00 p.m. - It's starting to snow, the first of the season, and the wife and I took our buttered rum and sat by the window watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was so beautiful.
Dec. 9 - We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantel. I shoveled…
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to…
John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose.
His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the…
