Drunks
Two drunks walk into a bar...
Two drunks walk into a bar. The first drunk looks at his buddy and says "I gotta go use the can." So he wonders off to the bathroom and is gone for 5 ......
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A completely inebriated man was stumbling down...
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take...
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There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk...
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL" and farts loudly. The wife is...
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Clearing it
A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that issitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangelled Banner!Everyone who...
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A drunk staggered into a cemetery and...
A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave.Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. "Get me out of here", said the one in the grave,...
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How can you tell?
"Old Jethro's next door's a-makin' moonshine again." the wife told her husband."How can you tell ?" he asked. "Did you smell it ?""Nope. But a bunch of mice...
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What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?
What's the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic?A drunk doesn't have to go to those stupid meetings.
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A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog...
A woman goes into a bar with a little Chihuahua dog on a leash.She sits down at the bar next to a drunk. The drunk rollsaround, leans over, and splat! He...
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Lost all my luggage
McAteer arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered about the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already...
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